A Grieving Heart
by 54Viruses
Summary: It'll take a lot more than time to heal this wound.
1. The Letter

All characters in this chapter belong to me! Do not be alarmed, I will proceed with the nasty disclaimers in the next chapter

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Chapter one, the letter.

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It was a mother's worse nightmare.

She awoke on a summery morning and saw right away that it was a beautiful day for playing or hanging with friends. Her own daughter would inevitably come running in to see if she could go play at her best friend's house, or her best friend could come over. After all, she had spent every free moment with her friend ever since the divorce had been finalized and they had moved back to Wyoming. Laura sat up and listened for the sounds of her daughter making breakfast or moving through the house.

None came.

Curious, and hoping to find the early riser still in bed, Laura climbed out of her own bed and moved through the trailer to her daughter's bedroom door. There was silence on the other side. A hint of a grin played across her face as she slowly opened the door, looking for a mop of black hair on the pillow, it wasn't there. In fact, the pillow wasn't there. The bed had been stripped; the blankets and sheets lay neatly folded at the foot of the bed and the pillow was stacked on top of the linens. That was odd; her daughter just wasn't that neat, ever. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw a folded sheet of paper on top of the pillow.

'This isn't happening.' Laura thought, 'She just left a note saying she's at Jessica's.'

Her mother's intuition laughed at her own foolishness.

Laura's hands shook as she stepped closer to the bed, by the time she lifted the note her entire body was shaking.

_Mom,_

_I'm not sure what to say. I love you, and this isn't your fault. I have to leave, please trust me enough to know that I wouldn't leave if I had a choice.__ I can't tell you why I'm leaving; only that I have too and that I'll be fine._

_I won't bother telling you not to call Jess's mom. If I know you any you already have the phone in your hand._

That wasn't true; Laura had already dialed and was waiting for somebody to pick up the phone.

_I also won't bother telling you not to call the police._

Laura thanked Jessica's mom and hit the speed dial for the department.

_I love you Mom, and believe me when I say this is for the best. _

"No Sam, I don't know where she could have gone!" Laura told the officer frantically over the phone. "Well, yes she has, but not since she was four."

_Please, please, please don't think that this is your fault, it isn't. Not in any way, shape or form._

After listening for a moment she nodded and started searching, "Um, she took some clothes, her shoes, um," Laura shuffled through the room, it was never too messy, but now it was so clean it scared her,

_I love you,_

"Her bible's gone, uh," Drawers were opened and shut almost frantically,

_I'll pray for you,_

"She took her Karate stuff, she left her CD player…Yes she left the CD's! Who do you think we're talking about?!" When Laura heard the shrill tone to her voice she stopped and took a minute to breathe as she recomposed herself. "Sam, listen to me, the last time she ran away…yes, when she was four, the last time she ran away her grandparents had to send her home on an airplane!" There was an exclamation from the other side of the phone line. "Oh sure, _now_ you send an officer!"

_Please don't worry about me._

Laura hurried to the bathroom, she had to splash some water on her face and collect herself before the officers arrived. The last time her daughter had run away she had told Laura the night before she was going to visit her grandparents; Laura had thought it was a game until she couldn't find her little girl the next morning. Somehow, despite being only four years old, she had somehow made it. But Laura's in-laws had died since then and this letter specified no destination, no intention to return. To make matters worse the girl was almost twelve now. There was no telling what she was capable of.

_Take care of yourself._

Drying her face off with a towel, Laura looked blearily at the sink. Something was missing. When she realized what it was she began to laugh, Laura laughed until her sides ached and she had to back up to the wall of the bathroom to support herself, then she laughed until she slid to the floor, letting hysteria take over as she realized she would never see her daughter again.

After all, she had taken her toothbrush.

_Please forgive me._

"Nobody's answering." The rookie said; he looked uncertain. The senior officer pounded on the door again, calling Ms. Thompson's name with a voice trained by almost three decades in the military. When still nobody answered he pulled his side arm and stepped back to kick the trailer door in. "Uh, sir, regulations state that we shouldn't-" The door slammed open with one kick and the officers moved inside. Hearing noises off to the right the senior officer moved down the hallway.

_I love you,_

They found Laura Thompson on the floor of her bathroom sobbing hysterically into a towel. Officer Carson sent the rookie to call for medical personnel before addressing the woman, when she didn't respond he gave into his fatherly instincts and pulled her against his bullet-proof vest. He rocked her slowly, holding her like one of his own children because she had lost hers.

_Kit_.


	2. Two Years Later

I do not own the TMNT. Bummer…

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Two Lears Later...

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In the shadows of New York City bad things happen. Kylie had heard about the dangers all her life, but growing up in the city tends to make a person cocky. It wasn't until she found herself lying on the ground in an alley surrounded by Conquistadors that she realized how cocky she had been.

"Don't worry," the tall one with greasy hair said. "We don't want your money." His two friends cackled with laughter. One of them pulled out a switchblade and let the light of his fat friend's cigarette reflect in it. Kylie tried not to cry as she slowly sat up. The fat one had hit her in the stomach when she had tried to fight back and she still couldn't breathe without pain much less scream.

Greasy grabbed the collar of her jacket and lifted her too her feet, this made her stomach hurt worse and she couldn't suppress a whimper of pain. "Now, we're going to play a game, it's a lot like strip poker except we don't got no cards." Kylie tried to back away from the man but her back only met the wall. "You go first. What's in your hand?" His friends snickered, Switchblade managed to catch a light source from somewhere and the blade gleamed wickedly.

"I, I, Nothing!" Kylie stammered. Greasy slapped her.

"The cards lady, the cards! We playin' Poker. What's in your hand?" His hand stayed up; ready to backhand her if she didn't say anything.

Kylie thought hard, trying not to panic, "I, uh, st-straight f-f-flush?"

Greasy laughed, "You lose." He stepped aside and Switchblade took his place with blade held high. Kylie's breath started coming in panicked squeaks. Suddenly Switchblade disappeared. Kylie wasn't sure how this happened, but the shocked looks on the others' faces made her look down.

Switchblade lay on the ground in a heap, but crouched on his back was a creature of some sort. The creature glanced down at Switchblade and seemed to cringe. "Ooh, that _had_ to hurt." The creature looked up at Kylie's attackers; its large pointed ears seemed to focus on them as it stood. Kylie could now see that her rescuer was shorter than she was and that it had a tail sticking out of what looked like pajamas. "Next please."

Clearly Fat boy didn't have as much brains as he did blubber. Without hesitating for an instant he charged the monster. The creature dropped down from its perch on top of Switchblade's back and kicked high, catching the charging man squarely in his chest. Between the kick and the man's own forward momentum he went down without another blow.

"And then there was one." Greasy stared, slack jawed and wet panted. This thing couldn't be much bigger than his baby sister and it had just taken down two of the most dangerous men in his gang without effort. Greasy wasn't as stupid as his gigantic companion, he turned and ran.

The creature moved as though to give chase when Kylie finally caught her breath, "Wait!" The creature stiffened and looked at her over its shoulder at her. Now Kylie could see that it wasn't wearing pajamas but some kind of Karate outfit and it looked almost like some kind of biped cat. "I…um…"

"Go home." The creature said. It walked out of the alley and around the corner. Kylie ran after it, climbing over the just stirring giant gang member and running to the street. The creature was gone.

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"Nice job. Foot Ninja you can handle, but street punks you can't?"

"Gee, I'm sorry Raph. Next time I get knifed I'll be sure to let Karai do it."

"Whoa, whoa whoa! Cool it Kit!" Casey Jones interrupted, "What's your problem?" He wasn't so much concerned about having come home to mutants in his bathroom; but the fact that they were two hotheaded ninjas made him worry about his security deposit.

"I got a knife in my tail, that's the problem!" Behind Kit Raphael snickered.

Kit quickly explained to Casey about the rescue in the ally. Afterwards Raph had seen blood on the back of her pant legs and insisted they stop at Casey's place to patch her up before they returned to the sewers. She left out her argument that a bachelor's apartment had just as much risk for infection as the sewers.

"So, Conquistadors huh? How'd you get cut by one of them losers?"

"Must have been when I landed on the jerk with the knife." She glared at the turtle behind her, "Do you have a tail fetish or something? That's not brain surgery."

"Hold still I'm almost done!" Raph tore off a strip of tape and grinned evilly as he stuck it securely to Kit's fur. "Done." He sincerely hoped to be there when the bandage had to be removed, fur and tape made an entertaining combination.

Somebody knocked on Casey's door. Before Casey was even out of the bathroom the two mutants were out of sight. He opened it and his face lit up into a wide smile, "April! Babe! What brings you to my neck of the woods?" April looked past Casey with an expression of worry.

"Casey, is Kit here?" In the bathroom Kit peaked out of the cabinet under the sink. Why would April ask about her? Raph was the one usually at Casey's place.

"Yeah, sure she's right-"

"Then I need to speak with you in the hallway." April grabbed Casey and pulled him through the doorway. After the door shut Kit opened the cabinet door further and crawled out, Raphael dropped to the floor beside her.

"Why would April be looking for you here?" Raph asked.

Kit shook her head, "If April was looking for me, wouldn't she have come in?" Raph shrugged.

The humans were gone for several minutes. When they did return April still had that worried look on her face, only now Casey looked like he had seen a ghost. Raph and Kit waited until the door was closed and April had put the chain up before they emerged from the bathroom.

"Hey April." Raph greeted the redhead, Kit held up a hand in silent greeting.

"Raph! You're here too; of course you're here it's Kit who usually isn't, um…" It wasn't like April to babble, or to be at a loss of words. Casey stepped in for her.

"Hey, April needs to talk to Master Splinter about something," nobody missed it when his eyes flicked over to Kit before the pattern of the ceiling distracted him, "Could you guys take us there?"

"Sure, what's up?" Raphael's patience could only last so long, but April only shook her head and Casey suddenly had the worst fake coughing fit anyone had ever seen. A tight, nervous feeling took hold in Kit's stomach. What were they hiding from her?

Casey and Raph helped April through the window to the fire escape while Kit stood lookout. After the four of them trooped down to street level Raphael lifted a manhole cover and everyone slipped into the sewers. Traveling this route usually took about fifteen minutes, but with April and Casey along it was nearly half an hour before they reached the hidden door that Donnie had rigged up for the lair. Raph pulled down a pipe and the door swung open, then closed seamlessly after April, Raph and Kit had gone through. Casey was slower and nearly got sealed outside before he jumped through the fast closing opening.

"Bonehead." Raph grunted.

Mikey spotted them first and spread the word that April and Casey were there. Soon Donnie, Leo and Master Splinter joined them and exchanged greetings with their human friends, there was a palpable tension in the air. April finally reached into her pocket and handed Master Splinter a hand-written note. Kit felt a stab of hurt when she realized that April had pre-written the note to make sure that Kit's sensitive ears didn't overhear anything.

Mikey started to sneak behind his rat sensei's shoulder to try and read the note, but for once it was Splinter who smacked him on the back of his head.

Every one watched the sage rat's face for his reaction to the note. At first he looked confused and curious, but the more he read the more serious his face became. Finally he folded the note and looked up. "Kitrian, I require of you to retrieve the red flag, immediately."

Kit blanched; the flags were a training method and devious parenting tool. The flags were placed at specific locations in the sewers and the student sent to retrieve or return the flag was expected to do so at a peak run, they would be timed and their time recorded. Students who cheated would be caught the next time somebody was sent on a run.

The flags were also a way to give Master Splinter some peace- or to get rid of somebody for a certain amount of time. Furthermore, the flags were color coded, yellow being the closest and red being the furthest. In her current condition it took Kit a good half hour to retrieve the red flag.

"But…"

"Immediately Kitrian. Donatello, please start the timer." Donnie activated the stopwatch on his wrist-watch

Kit stiffened and bowed, "Hai Sensei." She straightened up again and ran for one of the lair's rear entrances.

As soon as she was gone Master Splinter sighed, "Stop the timer Donatello." Donnie lifted an eye ridge but did as he was told. "My sons, Miss O'Neil brings serious news."

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Wait! Why is everybody plotting against my OC?

Please Review.


	3. Breaking

I do not own the TMNT; can the story be more depressing than the disclaimer?

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Thirty-four and a half minutes. Kit frowned as she ran back into the lair, her time was worse. Not that it really mattered; she had spent the entire run trying to figure out what was going on with her friends. Although normally she had a vivid, if sometimes cryptic, imagination she couldn't think of anything that would cause this strange behavior.

She ran into the dojo and stood in front of Master Splinter, who was waiting for her to deliver the flag.

"Sensei, I have brought…the red flag." Kit tried to say it as formally as possible despite her short breath. She held out the wire with the red cloth attached to it and Master Splinter accepted it solemnly. Kit bowed, panting slightly.

"Well done." He said, Kit's brows rose in surprise, she was at least five minutes slow. "You may rest and get a drink of water. Then we have something to discuss with you."

Kit bowed again and jogged over to the kitchen. She was relieved that they were going to talk to her now, but it peaked her interest further when she saw all four turtles plus their human friends still in the monitoring area; watching her.

Although curiosity made her want to just grab a glass of water and run back out to find out what was up, experience told Kit that if she didn't cool down properly her fur would make her overheat, that was never fun. It was nearly fifteen minutes before her breathing had completely returned to normal and she didn't feel feverish. After downing another glass of water Kit headed over to where her friends, teacher and fellow students either stood or sat looking more serious than she had seen them in a while.

April put a gentle hand on Kit's shoulder and lead her to the couch before sitting next to her. Master Splinter was in another chair facing Kit but everyone else was standing or seated helter-skelter around her. In the short time before April started to speak Kit was beginning to get that 'specimen' feeling she normally only got when Bishop was around.

"Kit," April began, "There's been an accident." Kit's ears perked, that line was never good. "A limousine was hit by another car…" Who did they know that went around in a limo? "a businessman and his lawyer were killed." Oroku Saki was a buisnessman, had he been killed? Not likely.

April frowned, this wasn't easy and the increasingly blank look on Kit's face wasn't helping. Donnie stepped around the coffee table and crouched in front of Kit. He nodded to April before trying, "Kit, does the name Laura Thompson mean anything to you?"

Kit's eyes widened slowly and her breathing increased perceptibly, how could he possible know that name? "Yes," Kit answered slowly. "She, she's my mother." This was impossible: Kit almost never spoke of her past and she never spoke about her mother. She hadn't even told anyone her own last name much less her mom's. Besides Laura Thompson was a legal councilor, not a lawyer…

April tried again, "Kit, I'm sorry, I heard something on the news that caught my attention, and when I read her information in the paper…" Kit's mind still refused to accept what was happening, her mother was safe in Wyoming…

"Show her the paper!" Raph prompted April.

April reached into her pocket and pulled out another paper, news paper. "Was this your mom?" Kit took the paper and unfolded it.

The article was mostly about the businessman, but there was a small obituary connected to it about the lawyer. Kit read slowly through the obituary as it described Ms. Thompson's work, and a little about her life. Something in Kit's chest was tightening painfully as she realized that this woman in the article really was her mother. After reading the thing through twice Kit sat back on the couch, glad that she wasn't standing.

"Kit? Are you all right?" Kit blinked at Mikey's voice; she had actually forgotten that she was surrounded by her friends.

"Uh, yeah…" Suddenly Kit's skin felt like it was too tight, her tail was itching painfully and there wasn't enough air in the room. "I, uh…" Her throat was painfully dry and there was an all too familiar burning behind her eyes. At the same time the smooth fur on her hands started to prickle, she needed to hit something...hard.

The walls went up.

"I'm fine, really. Thanks for telling me April. It must have taken some research to be sure about this." That caught April, and everyone else, completely off guard. "Do you mind if I keep this?" Kit held the article up and April nodded. "Thanks. I, uh, I need to go out, maybe take a quick run."

The others watched as Kit quickly stood and marched from the room. April started to go after her but Casey put a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Give her time, Miss. O'Neil." Master Splinter advised, "Kitrian is not one to express herself openly."

"So, what do we do now?" Mikey asked, his blue eyes were dark with worry.

"We wait, when she needs us, we will be here."


	4. Anger

I do not own the turtles, or the rat, or the hockey-mask guy, or April, or any of the villains I mention…

Chapter 4, Anger.

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Kit returned to the lair less than an hour after she had left. Just minutes after she slipped through one of the entrances Leonardo tried to do the same at a different entrance, but he ran right into a very angry mutant cat. Leo couldn't remember her looking this angry, or scary.

"I don't know what annoys me more; the fact that you were shadowing me, or the fact that you weren't doing a very good job at it." Kit snapped. Leo opened his mouth to object and deny, but his distaste for lying stopped him as soon as he opened his mouth. Kit sneered and shook her head, "Whatever." She grumbled before turning away from him and moving to the kitchen.

Donatello came up beside his brother, "What happened?" He asked softly.

Leo shook his head, "Nothing, she ran a lot and came back to the lair. At some point she must have realized I was following her."

Mikey came scurrying out of the kitchen with the look of a child who's behind had just been swatted for no reason. "Dudes, I don't like her like this!"

Donnie spoke a little more urgently. "Leo, we have no point of reference for this!" Leo and Mikey waited for a translation, Donnie finally gave it, "We never had a mother; how would we possibly know what it's like to lose one?"

"Stupid question, Donnie." Raph joined his brothers, also from the direction of the kitchen. "We don't."

Leo frowned, "I don't know, it might be like…like if we were to lose Master Splinter." Donnie considered and nodded, Raph seemed to agree as well.

"I don't think so bros," Mikey said. He was looking thoughtful, never a good sign, "I mean, think about it, she ran away two years ago. Wouldn't that make it, you know, easier?"

"Mikey DUCK!" Michelangelo ducked just as something silver cut over his head and hit the stone in front of him with a precise tone they were all too familiar with. An instant later a door slammed hard enough that they could hear the wood crackle. When the echoes had died away he looked up at the shuriken embedded in the wall.

"Good going nun-chuck-for-brains." Raph smacked Mikey on the back of the head and headed for his own room, Donnie duplicated the abuse before making for his lab.

Rubbing his head as his two brothers walked off Mikey turned to Leo, "Wha'd I say?" Leo shook his head and smacked Mikey once more for good measure.

For a long time Mikey stood there rubbing his head distractedly. After a while his eyes went wide as saucers when he realized his mistake, "O-oh!" He turned to look at Kit's door; it was the first time he could remember her shutting it herself. She had slammed it because of what he had said. Mikey cringed, "Oh." He brought his hand to his face and smacked himself for being so stupid.

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Inside her room Kit stood, fists clenched so tightly that her claws dug painfully into her palm. It was a good pain; it didn't hurt as much as she did inside. Mikey was wrong, her running away hadn't made this any easier. What kind of loving daughter leaves her mother with nothing more than a sloppily written note? How much effort would it have taken to send a note saying she wasn't _dead_? Did her mom think Kit hated her?

The sound of another shuriken striking stone caught her attention and Kit's eyes opened slowly.

A throwing star was stuck to the wall opposite her door. Kit looked behind her and realized that the door was still shut. The only person who could have thrown it was herself. For a minute the firestorm of her emotions died and she just stared at the bit of metal sticking out of the wall.

The star she had thrown at Mikey had been on purpose. Between Mikey's training and Leo's watchful eye he hadn't been in any real danger, but this second one… With complete calm like the eye of a hurricane Kit patted her belt and made sure she hadn't thrown any other stars without thinking.

After assuring herself that everything was in its rightful place Kit lay down on her bed. Her mind refused to work; it had been through too much today.

Lying in bed, still fully dressed, Kit faced her nightstand. Normally she'd pull out her bible and read. A small inner voice told her she needed the comfort and communion she gained through her nightly devotions. She needed to get her temper under control and apologize to Mikey.

She rolled over and waited for sleep.

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Ouch

Kindly review.


	5. Provoking Junk

I've always found the morning after to be the hardest, like there was something you could have done the night before but now it's too late.

I do not own the TMNT.

Chapter 5, Provoking junk

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'Cotton mouth. Why do I have cotton mouth?'

Kit stared bleakly at the ceiling. Her gut told her it was a bad day and that she shouldn't get up, her brain couldn't remember why. Her mouth was dry and her stomach felt like it was full of something thick and hot. When she sat up her head informed her she was in for a headache. For a minute she stared at her gi, wondering why she had gone to sleep fully dressed.

A faint crackle caught her ears and she reached into her jacket. Her fingers hit something paper and she pulled it out. As soon as she recognized the article everything came flooding back to her.

She wanted to vomit; she wanted to scream, to break something. All the pain, the anger and the guilt dumped back onto her as harsh and unyeilding as it had been the night before. Worse, now there was a heaviness that pulled at her as if gravity itself had increased just to make her miserable.

This _hurt_! Her throat, head, eyes, stomach, everything hurt! Unconsciously she grabbed at her jacket over her chest. It literally felt like she had a steel blade in her chest. She could feel it shift with every breath, but it wasn't there. For several minutes she sat there, fighting the pain. It was a loosing battle until her vision blurred slightly.

She wouldn't cry. Tears didn't help; they only made the feeling of helplessness worse. She would not cry.

Instead she took a deep breath; it shook like an autumn leaf. Another breath, then another until it was steady and strong.

When Kit emerged from her room just before morning training Mikey stepped behind Leo, putting a physical barrier between himself and the mutant cat. Donnie stood with a mug of coffee, having already drunk one mug he was the first one with the courage to greet her. "Morning Kit!"

Kit nodded, "Yeah, morning." She looked calm enough, but her stature was stiff and there was something about her eyes. They looked hard, like onyx. Raph stood by the punching bag watching her. His own eyes narrowed slightly and he nodded a little, as though coming to a decision.

Master Splinter came out of his room and greeted his students. They quickly lined up and bowed, greeting their sensei. Somehow Don had gotten rid of his coffee mug. "And how are you this morning, my students?"

"Well Sensei." Came the chorused response. Master Splinter accepted this response from his sons, but he caught Kit's eyes and she quickly glanced away.

"Kitrian, if you wish, you may be excused from training this morning." His tone held a kindly tenderness developed from years of parenting.

Kit stiffened a little more, "Thank you, Sensei, but I will train this morning." her response was as stiff and as formal as her posture.

Master Splinter nodded and ordered for his students to begin their laps around the dojo. They peeled off from their lineup and started jogging around the room. Normally Kit ran near Leo and Donnie while Mikey taunted Raph into racing, but today was no normal day.

"Geeze Kit, you run faster than that when you walk." Raph called, he had actually darted ahead of Mikey and was now lapping all four of them. Kit ignored him. "Maybe it's that tail of yours, I imagine when you're favoring an injury that close to your butt everything slows down."

"Raph, what are you doing?" Raphael ignored Leo.

"I expect Fearless and Geek boy to be slow, but what's your excuse?"

"Very Funny Raph, leave her alone." Don glared at his brother. Kit just stared straight ahead, but her eyes narrowed. It was like that the entire run, Raph taunting Kit, his brothers trying to make him lay off, Kit staying unnaturally quiet.

When Master Splinter called the run to a finish Raphael commented that Kit looked tired. As they were lead through a difficult kata Raph placed himself near Kit and made comments under his breath so that his brothers wouldn't hear. After the Kata they were paired off for sparring, Raphael continued to comment under his breath just so that Kit could hear him. The only sign Kit gave of being bothered by his comments was when she left Michelangelo on the floor groaning in pain; normally she could hardly get a hand on the older ninja.

Finally Master Splinter called a finish to their morning exercises. Kit immediately shut herself into her room. Raphael was about to go do his own thing when a sharp voice barked "Raphael!"

That was expected, rat ears are more sensitive than even cat ears.

Raphael followed his father into Splinter's room. Once inside Splinter turned abruptly to his son, the look of anger and disappointment stung Raph, but he stood firm.

"Raphael, you have spent the entire morning harassing and mocking Kitrian." Master Splinter's voice was so close to a growl right now he didn't sound like himself. "You are well aware that her situation is extremely difficult right now, explain yourself." Raph almost expected that walking stick to start caving his skull in any minute.

Raph took a breath. Thinking about his words didn't come naturally to him, but he felt it was important to get these words right. "Master Splinter, I know mad. I mean, I understand anger. Kit, she's taking all of her emotional junk and turning it into anger. Not anger like when she chases Mikey around the lair, but _anger_ like, well…" He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.

"Rage, my son?" Splinter looked contemplative; perhaps Raphael was on to something?

"Yeah, something like that." Raph shrugged again, "It's like when Mikey kept shakin' one of Donnie's test tubes and it kept fizzin' and the rubber cork thing eventually came out. It made a mess and all, but after it was done fizzin' there wasn't as much junk in the tube."

Again Raph shrugged, "I just thought that if Kit's going to do somethin' like that…Nah, never mind. That was stupid, just go ahead and wack me real hard now."

Raphael waited for the blow, it didn't come. Instead Master Splinter was looking down his impressive nose and running his hand over the fur on his chin. "I see." He said.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw. (couldn't resist)

Please review.


	6. Snap

I do not own the TMNT; however, I plan to start negotiating for their licensure just as soon as Peter and his people acknowledge my existence.

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Claws scraped on brick. At the sound Kit forced herself to take several deep breaths until her claws retracted. She wouldn't lose her temper. Not even if she was stuck with Raph and he insisted on being a complete _jerk_!

"What's takin' you so long? I thought the point of splittin' up the team like this was to go _faster_." Kit knew Raph's comments shouldn't be getting to her, she was more than up to her usual standard. But they were, and if he didn't back off soon Kit wouldn't be liable for her actions.

Just up ahead, Raphael turned and shot off another taunt. He could see how angry she was, her fur had fluffed out some and her entire demeanor was similar to when she was in battle. Kit would only be able to hold it in for a little longer and Raph was determined to make sure nobody else was around when she completely lost it.

They came up to one of the wider alleys on their route. It was a difficult jump made all the worse by the fact that it was a story higher than the roof they currently ran across. Raphael scaled a rooftop access and made the jump with no room to spare. Kit was right behind him, but after making the leap she fell just short and hit the ledge of the roof with her gut. Gravity drug her down and tried to pull her to the ground six floors down. Kit caught the other side of the ledge and started to climb up using the claws on her feet for extra torque.

When Raphael noticed she had fallen behind he quickly spun around and raced back to her. He tried to help her up but she actually growled at him. Taking the hint he stepped back until she swung her legs over the ledge and stood up. Her eyes narrowed till they were nearly slits as she beat dust and gravel off of her front. By Raph's guess she had had enough, so he went for the last straw.

"Pathetic, how long have you been doing this and you can't handle a simple jump?"

That did it. Her eyes shot open with shock, the white reflection they gave off at night practically glowed as shock settled into anger, anger to burn.

"What is your problem Raph?" Kit snapped, her sharp teeth flashing into view.

"I don't got no problem, you just suck." Raph stepped forward, getting in her face.

"Back off Raph. Believe me, I'd love to beat the tar out of you right now, so just _back off_!" Kit stepped back but Raph followed her.

"Like you could, what are you going to do Karate Kit, scratch me to death?"

"Whatever, okay Raph? Just back off." Kit stepped back again, but she was getting close to the ledge again.

"What wrong Kit? Can't handle a little pressure? How 'bout you find a corner and just go cry?"

That did it. Raph watched Kit's eyes focus and they shifted slightly but he wasn't completely ready for the kick to his side. It was partially deflected by the ridge of his carapace but there was still enough force behind it to sting. An instant later Raph dodged Kit's spin kick and a punch. The momentum from her punch was smoothly shifted into another kick, this one clipped Raph's shoulder and forced him to step back, another punch and another kick. At some point Raph caught her fist in mid-punch. His own hand tingled with pain but Kit didn't even slow as she threw her body into a spin and her heel connected solidly with the softer tissues between his plastron and carapace. Raph stumbled slightly and Kit dropped into a simple round off, her weight pulling her fist free from his grasp. Back on her feet again Kit launched into another series of kicks and punches, many missed but still more connected. Finally, after two rapid-fire direct hits to his plastron Kit dropped down and swept his feet out from under him. Before he could regain his feet Kit was on his chest with one arm drawn back for a finishing blow.

"Stop it!" She shouted.

"Stop what!" Raph shouted back.

"Stop going easy on me, you're not even trying to fight back! You know I hate it when you do that!" Kit stood up and stepped back, her glare never letting up for a minute. Raph rolled off of his shell and got his feet back under him. "What is wrong with you? First you're on my case all day for being some kind of failure at life and then you go and let me blow up at you! Is your shell riding up your butt or something? What is it?" When she was done yelling Kit stood there trying to catch her breath and waited for some kind of response from him that would explain his idiocy.

Instead, he smirked. "You know, you cuss when you get angry enough."

"Huh?" Kit stared at him for a minute, then frowned, "I do not!"

"Yeah, not in English but yeah, you do."

Kit snorted, her expression cracked a little and a small smirk appeared. "I do not!"

Raph reached over and tousled her ears a bit before turning. "Come on, Leo will never let me hear the end of it if we keep him waiting." Kit shook her head again before following him across the roof. He looked back over his shoulder and called, "And, yeah, you do."

"Keep it up; I'll kick your shell for real this time!"

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Leo and Mikey arrived at the meeting point only moments before Raph and Kit did. Kit was still quiet, but it was plain to Leo that she had relaxed some. Although Mikey still didn't say anything to her, he seemed to sense less tension in the air as well. They returned to the lair where Donnie was still working on a project that Leo and Splinter had agreed was worth one missed patrol. Mikey ran over to the monitoring area and started up one of his gaming systems. Kit returned to her room, but she left the door open tonight.

Before Leo could go report to Master Splinter Raph stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, "Leo, thanks for trusting me tonight."

"I admit I wasn't sure at first, but whatever it was you did, worked." Leo smiled. "Maybe I should send you and Donnie off together next time you break one of his machines."

Raph cringed, "Yeah, no witnesses against him that way." Leo chuckled and Raph moved over to his room.

As his brother went Leo couldn't help but notice how Raph rolled his shoulders and rubbed a hand over his plastron. Whatever he did to calm Kit down looked like it had been painful.

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Feel free to flame the fighting. I have no talent for fighting.


	7. Not Quite Right

I do not, nor have I ever, owned the TMNT or any of the related themes and characters.

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"Give it up shell for brains!"

"Never! I will have my Monster Meltdown Marathon!"

"I don't even want to know what that is, but there is no way I'm missing tonight's wrestling match!"

"It's only a marathon of the greatest monster movies ending in the monster melting into a pile of monster goo. Besides, wrestling is all faked!"

"Right and that junk you watch is quality television?"

Kit sat at the table with a long bristled brush in her mouth and her head in her hands. She didn't know why, their arguing never gave her a headache before. Maybe it was the fumes from her calligraphy ink. Not likely, the ink didn't give off fumes.

With a sigh Kit took the brush out of her mouth and dipped it in the ink. After rolling off the excess she carefully placed the brush on the paper and drew across, then down. Right now she was working on a replacement for a wall hanging that had mysteriously fallen to the floor and gotten crushed under a shell when Mikey was in the room.

Master Splinter had suggested that in addition to ninjitsu Kit also study the gentler arts of Japanese tradition such as calligraphy. Part of Kit's mind believed that Master Splinter made these suggestions so strongly because she was a girl. But she also suspected it was because she was good at it. She had picked up on the Japanese language quickly enough to surprise her friends and she kind of enjoyed writing using something other than a pen or pencil.

Of course, thinking about how quickly she had 'learned' Japanese made Kit think of her grandparents. Her paternal grandparents had been Japanese immigrants and though Kit couldn't remember them her mom had told Kit that they used to visit often. She had probably picked some Japanese up from them. Little kids had a knack for that sort of thing.

Unfortunately, as close as Kit was supposed to have been to her grandparents she didn't remember anything about them after the accident. They had both passed away by then but Kit's mom used to tell her all about them. Sometimes, when Kit had been sick, her mom would sing a simple song that she had most likely heard from Kit's grandmother. It was a sweet song, something about cherry blossoms and a blizzard, and her mother had such a nice voice...

A drop of liquid splashed onto the paper and ruined the figure Kit had been trying to paint. Kit quickly grabbed a scrap of cloth and dried the paper before it was ruined, then she vigorously rubbed her eyes. After returning to the work at hand she tried not to think of her grandparents, or her mother.

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It had been nearly three days since the patrol. Still Kitrian was clearly not herself. She tried to act normally, training hard and messing around with Raphael and Michelangelo. But sometimes her shoulders, ears and even her whiskers had a tendency to droop. Her eyes were often listless, sort of like dull ebony. Michelangelo tried to cheer her up, but as soon as his shell was turned Kitrian's smile would slip. Once in a while Master Splinter would see her hesitate and take a breath- steeling herself- before she went on to do normal everyday activities.

Tonight Master Splinter awoke in the night. He went to the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea with which to lull himself back to sleep. As he went towards the kitchen he noticed a light on in Kitrian's room. Seeing as how it was late enough that even Donatello had gone to sleep; Master Splinter went to check on her. He stopped just outside her door and a gentle smile spread across his face. She had simply fallen asleep with the light on.

Silently, Master Splinter slipped in and reached for the lamp. He stopped when he noticed something out of place. Her protective gear was on the floor by her bed, where she seemed to think it belonged when she wasn't wearing it. A few books were more or less neatly organized on a shelf that Donatello had hung for her and the drawer with her gi in it was mostly closed. It took a moment to realize what seemed out of place was actually what was still in its place. Normally Kitrian read her bible before she fell asleep, sliding it onto her nightstand just before she herself slid off to sleep, but tonight her nightstand only held the lamp and a stray pencil. Master Splinter frowned slightly, not sure why this slight deviation from her usual habits bothered him.

He shrugged it off and turned out the light. Before leaving he paused to pull Kitrian's blanket up over her shoulder. Her ear flicked but other than that she did not stir.

As he turned to leave Master Splinter made a note to himself to talk with her. Perhaps talking about her mother would help Kitrian to feel better.

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Please review.


	8. Three steps back

I do not own the TMNT. Seriously, how often do I have to type that?

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"Hey guys I hope I'm not early but…guys?" Casey Jones stumbled out of the elevator. He was surprised to find all of his mutant friends sitting on a mat with their legs crossed and their eyes closed. They acted as though they hadn't heard them. "Guys?"

After watching them for almost a full minute Casey started to wonder if the meditating ninjas were even breathing. He came closer. Yeah they were breathing, but it was kind of slow. Taking the initiative to snap them out of it before they suffocated or something he started by waving his hand in front of Raph's face. Raph didn't twitch.

"Hey Raphie boy." Casey whispered. Raphael had to be out of it to not get angry at the nickname. Sitting beside him was Mikey, who had to be twice as out of it not to snicker. Casey shifted position to try something else when his shoe hit one of the candles. It started to fall but a furry black hand caught the candle and extinguished the small flame.

"Hey! Kit, you're not in zombie-land!"

Kit sighed; she had been hoping he would go away if she ignored him. "No, I'm not…Although Master Splinter calls it something else." Kit frowned at the candle in her hand before standing up and leaving the meditation mat. She drug Casey behind her by the ear to ensure no further fire hazards.

"So, this is normal for you guys?" Casey tried to look back over his shoulder but Kit had yet to release his ear.

"It's normal for them. I just kind of clear my mind or think about stuff." In the kitchen Kit finally released his ear and moved to the sink. Casey stood up and rubbed his throbbing ear.

"So, you're not into all that meditatin' stuff?" He watched Kit grab the candle she still held in both hands, then give it a jerk, pulling the cooled wax free of her fur. She then dropped the candle into the sink and started the water.

"The quiet time is a good thing. I'm just not about to go all mystic with it. That stuff just creeps me out." She stuck her hand under the running water and let the cold water run over where the hot candle wax had burned her skin. When the burn set in a little of the fur would probably fall out but it looked all right otherwise.

"What stuff, going all Zone-y?" Casey started to raid the cabinets for munchies.

"That, and the stuff they talk about when they wake up. I really just don't like all that magic and mysticism stuff."

Casey had found a bag of pork rinds and was weighing his chances of survival if he ate the rest of the bag before Mikey came to. "Yeah, I guess I see where you're at." With a shrug he reached into the bag and pulled out a handful of pork rinds. Kit watched him cram the entire fistful into his mouth with an expression of mild disgust mixed with slight amusement. "So, uh, how ya doin' lately?"

Kit took her hand out of the flow of water, "Fine, just fine." She turned off the water and reached for a dish towel.

"So, you dealing with losin' your mom okay?" April had told Casey time and time and time again he was not the most sensitive guy in the world, but he could see right away that he had said the wrong thing. Kit stiffened, her hands tightening on the towel until Casey was sure he could hear the cloth creaking under the pressure. Her face slid to a very neutral expression, but it was somehow hard like stone.

"Casey…" There was an edge to Kit's voice that he had never heard before. She was angry, Casey tried to think of a way to take back what he had said. "Casey, I'll tell Raph you stopped by." Every syllable was short and hard. It was a dismissal as well as a warning.

"Right, I'll uh," Casey may not be sensitive, but when somebody was that mad he wasn't stupid enough to hang around, "see you later."

He quickly left the kitchen and met Raph in the main room, "Hey, Case man! What's up?"

Casey steered around his friend, "Hey Raph, I, uh, forgot somethin' on the stove. Uh, see ya'." He quickly moved back into the elevator.

Raph watched him go in confusion, "What's up with that bone brain?" He asked. "Leave somethin' on the stove? But he don't cook."

"_Donnie I'm fine! Would you stop worrying about __me!_" Kit stormed out of the kitchen and returned to her room, she shut the door behind her.

Donnie came out of the kitchen looking like the victim of a hit-and-run. "I just asked if the bandage on her tail needed to be changed…" He said, "Did I say something wrong?"

Raph frowned, "No Don, I don't think it was anything you said."

From where he stood with Leonardo, Master Splinter frowned as well. He had been planning to speak with Kit shortly after the meditation hour was over, now she would chafe at his concern. He sighed and tried to think of a way to help his youngest student.

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Casey hurried out of the stone elevator and slung a leg over his motorcycle. He picked up his helmet and stared at his fuzzy reflection. For a minute he just sat there, not starting the engine.

Finally he pulled out his shell cell and dialed several numbers. Casey stuck the phone to his ear and listened as it rang. Somebody picked up the other end of the line.

"Hi! Ma, it's Casey!...No Ma, I don't need money…No Ma, I haven't been evicted….I just called to see how you was doing…Yeah, everything's all right. I just wanted to hear from you… How's that mutt of yours?...Good…Wha-duh-ya mean you let Barlow paint your fence? Ma ya know I don't like that dude…Yeah, I mean yes!"

A small smile crept over Casey's face. The longer he talked the bigger the smile got. The woman was crazy, but he loved her. "Yeah Ma, great hearing from you too… I love ya Ma…Who's at the door?" the smile disappeared "Ma! I told ya I don't like that guy!...Wait-wait-wait, what exactly do ya mean by 'seein' him'…Ma!"

When he hung up almost an hour later he felt a little better, and a little worse. He dialed another number. "Hey, April!... I need your advice, can ya' talk?"

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Please review.


	9. Small Help is still Help

I am not in possession of the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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Almost an hour after Casey had left a knocking sound pulled Donnie out of his focus on the computer. He looked up and saw Kit standing meekly just outside his lab.

"Kit! Come in, I'm sorry I didn't see you."

Kit took a deep breath as she stepped in, "Actually Don, I'm the one who should be sorry."

Donnie felt his eye ridges rise, "What for?"

"For blowing up at you…in the kitchen." Kit's ears lowered slightly but she didn't drop eye contact. "I shouldn't have done that, you were just offering to help and I yelled at you. I'm sorry."

He pushed back in his chair and stood up, smiling gently, "Hey, it's not a problem. You were obviously angry about something when I came in. Really, if you need to you can blow up at me anytime." Kit almost chuckled at that, but then she cringed slightly. The look of guilt that flashed across her face might have had something to do with the bruises that had shown up on Raph's side and shoulder the other day, but Donnie couldn't be sure.

There was an uncomfortable pause. Donnie cleared his throat, "So, um, to tell the truth Kit, I really am a little worried about that bandage. It's what, four days old now?"

"More or less." Kit agreed

"So, do you think I could change it for you?"

Kit frowned and tried to look at her behind, the bandage was in sort of an awkward place for her to reach. As for having somebody else change it for her…well… there was just something personal about a tail. "Is it really that bad?" She asked.

There was the faintest of whines to her tone. She knew it needed to be changed but didn't want to go through with having somebody do it for her. "Yeah, I think it is." Kit sighed as Donnie moved to get the first-aid kit.

She stood in front of his desk with her back turned to him so that he could start working on the bandage. As he slowly cut away at all the tape Raph had used it occurred to him that he literally had Kit by the tail; if he was careful about what he said he just might be able to help.

"So, Casey was here today…" Kit stiffened slightly. She was still angry with Casey. "Did he say anything?"

"Not much." The reply was short; clearly she didn't want to talk about it.

"Right, that's normal…" That line of questioning was a dud. Maybe if he was careful enough…

"GAAAH! DONNIE!" Kit spun around, clutching her rear end protectively. Donnie sheepishly held up the bandage. There was a lot of fur attached to the tape.

"It's better to get it all off in one shot, right?"

"A little warning might have been nice!" Kit glanced down at her rear as though to make sure the tail was still intact. Of course it was still there, she could feel it throbbing. Little needles of pain ran up her spine and made the fur along the spine stand on edge. She also noticed something else, "Oh that is definitely not good."

"What?" Donnie gently turned her around to get a look at it himself. The cut on her tail had gotten mildly infected and needed to be cleaned out. "You're right, that's not good." He looked up at Kit, "Look on the bright side, what antiseptic could possibly hurt as much as getting the bandage off?" He leaned back to avoid Kit's hand when she swiped at him.

"Funny Donnie, real funny." Donatello grinned as he reached for something to clean the cut out with.

He worked silently for several minutes. The cut wasn't very deep, but the infection had completely inhibited its ability to heal to such a degree that there was actually more damage now than when it had been bandaged up in the first place. At first Donatello wondered why Kit hadn't been bothered by the degree of pain the infection would cause, then he remembered that Kit had something more painful to deal with.

He frowned, thinking hard. Finally he got up the courage to speak, "Kit?"

"Huh?"

"If I ask you about something serious, will you promise to answer?" Kit looked over her shoulder, her ears perked.

"I guess, shoot."

"No, not 'I guess'. I'm asking you to promise." Kit's ears lifted another notch. She thought about it for a minute. Asking for a promise was a pretty serious thing around here, but Donnie wasn't the type to try and entrap a person.

"All right. I promise to answer your question as best as I can." She said. Her tone was serious.

Donnie nodded. "Kit, could you...do you think you could tell me about your mother?"

Kit stiffened again. Donnie was sure she would try to back out of her promise. But Kit had given her word. "She, I mean," Kit tried to form a reply or an answer. After a minute she hung her head. "To be honest Donnie; no, I don't think I'm ready to talk about her. Not yet."

Donnie nodded. "I understand." He taped off the bandage and stood. Kit thanked him for his help before leaving and returning to her room.

Donatello sighed as he cleaned up his materials and put the first-aid kit back where it belonged.

"My son." Master Splinter had made no sound as he stood just outside Donnie's lab. Despite years of experience Donnie still felt himself jump slightly when his father spoke.

He turned and smiled, though not as warmly as he usually might have. "Master Splinter, can I help you with something?"

Master Splinter smiled gently. "No my son. I simply could not help but over hear your conversation with Kitrian."

Donnie frowned and glanced at his feet. "That didn't turn out to well, did it?" Instead of replying right away Master Splinter walked over to his son and placed a hand on Donatello's shoulder.

"My son, I believe that went very well."

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Reviews are vastly appreciated!


	10. First Step Forward

I do not own anything here that might be copyrighted or trademarked to someone else.

This chapter is a little choppy, please hang in there!

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Kit was still trying to act like there was nothing wrong. Unfortunately it was painfully clear that she was not all right. Shortly before supper Master Splinter decided it was time for that talk he had been planning, whether Kit liked the idea or not.

He climbed the stairs to her door and looked inside. To his surprise she was sitting on her bed with the worn newspaper article in front of her. She didn't seem to notice him standing in the doorway, "Kitrian."

She looked up, startled. "Master Splinter, hi." She started to slide off the bed but he held up a hand and moved to sit beside her. As he did he picked up the article.

"Tell me Kitrian, does this article give you comfort?" The old rat asked.

Kit stared at her tail as where it lay beside her leg. "No, not really." She admitted.

"Then, why do you continue to gaze at it?" Master Splinter's voice was naturally gentle, but now Kit could hear concern in his voice too.

"I, if… I…" Kit stopped and took a breath before trying again, "I don't know." A minute of uncomfortable silence. She didn't look up but felt the mattress shift as her teacher stood. Wood scraping on wood made Kit jerk her head up; Master Splinter had opened the top drawer of her nightstand and was lifting her bible out of it. Kit bit back a wave of inner pain and quickly looked back at her tail. The view blurred and she blinked rapidly to prevent tears.

Master Splinter didn't miss Kitrian's reaction to his actions. This confirmed his suspicion that she probably hadn't looked at the book since Kitrian found out about her mother. Although he hadn't read directly from the Bible himself Master Splinter had noted that Kitrian would often go to her room angry or upset and read from the worn tome until she felt better. For her this book was similar to Leonardo's meditation and Raphael's training, or to Donatello's various inventions: they helped the young ones to find their center and calm themselves.

Moreover, Kitrian had once taken a rope and 'hog-tied' Michelangelo for even suggesting that her bible was 'open game' for a prank. The turtle had been left bound hand and foot until he had promised never to use her bible for evil or mischievous purposes. This specific bible was important to Kit, but now she refused to even look at it.

Sitting back down on the bed Master Splinter looked the book over. It was old, the paper was crisp and slightly yellowed with age and the leather cover had stiffened. The pages were dog-eared and a strip of clear tape ran along the spine, holding it together. Master Splinter opened the front cover and a paper fell onto his lap. Hi picked it up.

The sound of paper falling made Kit look out of habit to make sure none of the pages had fallen out, but her heart nearly jumped to her throat when she recognized the letter on Master Splinter's hand. Master Splinter looked at her curiously but she quickly returned to examining her tail, her lap, anything. She sincerely hoped Master Splinter would not read that letter aloud.

Normally Splinter wasn't one to invade a person's personal property, but the feeling that he should look at what the paper read went past curiosity. One thing he had learned in all his years as a rat, a father and a ninja was to follow your gut instincts. His gut told him to read the paper.

He unfolded the paper and started to read;

"_Dear Kit,_

_I was planning to wait until you were ten to give this to yo__u, but after the year we've had I figured it wouldn't hurt._

_I'm very proud of you. Not only of how hard you worked at getting better after the accident, but of how hard you've been working at everything else too_

_I know I shouldn't commend you__r getting into fist fights__, but I'm proud that you always stand up for what you know is right.__I hope that this bible will help you to always know what is right.__ Read it, and pray often, and you will know when to fight as well as why._

_I love you,_

_Mom_"

Underneath the signature was some lettering that Master Splinter didn't understand.

Kitrian remembered though. "Ecclesiastes three, one through eight." She choked. It still didn't make much sense to Master Splinter, but clearly mattered to Kitrian, her shoulders started to shake.

Kit felt the pain growing. Instead of giving into it she bit down on her fist and tried to make it go away. It didn't. Her eyes burned and her throat felt tight. A gentle hand pulled her hand away from her teeth and another arm wrapped around her shoulders. After resisting for a moment Kit let herself lean against Master Splinter.

Crying hurt, but it eased the hurt too.

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Please review!


	11. Bigger Steps

I do not own the TMNT, compared to that everything's a happy ending…

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_"No don't! It's too dangerous!" She ran over and seized his arm, tears coursing down her cheeks as she tried to convince him to stay. "Please don't go!"_

_"But I must!" He replied, placing one hand over hers. __A__fter giving her fingers a __reassuring__ squeeze he pried them off of his arm__ "It's my duty."_

_"No! You don't have to!" He smiled bravely and saluted, __quickly running to the helipad.__ "No!__ Wait! __I have to tell you! I__-__"__ but it was too late. The helicopter lifted into the air and flew towards the scene of the battle miles away.__ The woman sobbed, not noticing the tall, dark figure behind her even as he pulled out a gun and took aim…_

Knocking interrupted Mikey's focus on the comic. Didn't everyone know that he needed absolute focus to figure out what these stupid mangas were about? To be honest he didn't really mind the distraction.

He looked up and saw Kit standing in the door. Mikey didn't know why she stood right outside the door like that; he barged into everyone else's room so they had more than the right to barge into his room. "Hey! What's up?" Kit hadn't been at dinner earlier and though Master Splinter had assured everyone that Kit was all right Mikey had been just a little worried that she'd just sat in her room feeling bad. Fortunately he could see that she had taken a nap instead, bed head on mutant cats was kind of hard to miss.

"Hey Mikey, um, can I talk to you?" Why didn't people just barge in? It was almost enough to make Mikey consider knocking more often, almost.

"Sure! Anytime! Come on over!" He quickly shoved a pile of comics down off his bed, they were more manga so he didn't mind if they got busted up.

Kit looked down as she picked her way through his room. That was another thing that confused Mikey, when anyone did come in they always looked down, it wasn't like the floor was absolutely covered in…never mind, maybe that one did make sense.

Eventually she made it over to his loft bed and climbed up. The bed was the cleanest surface in the room and the entire reason for that was anything left in the bed at night got kicked out while he slept. Because it was relatively clean it was just about the only place to sit and talk in there. She sat comfortably on the foot of the bed with one leg hanging out into open space. "So!" Mikey tried to put on a straight face. He failed, "Whatcha' wanna' talk about? War? Politics? Religion? How the Giants got cheated out of the Super bowl?" That got a short laugh out of her. It was good to see Kit laugh again, even if it was just a short chuckle.

Kit shook her head from side to side until her smile could fade a little. "Actually Mikey, I wanted to talk to you about last week, when I uh, threw the star at you…" She coughed uncomfortably.

Michelangelo frowned, "Yeah, about that, I'm really sorry. I was kind of being a dunder-head and I shouldn't have said that."

Surprise colored Kit's face, "I throw a bladed weapon at you without warning and _you_ apologize? I don't think that's how it's supposed to work Mikey."

Mikey shrugged. "I don't mind the throwing star thing, I mean, Raph's thrown a few at me. A lot really."

"Usually with him if you didn't duck he'd still miss."

"True, but does that mean you'll forgive me for being stupid?" Mikey smiled hopefully.

Kit smiled back at him, Mikey could hold a grudge about as well as Casey could hold a tune in a bucket, not at all. "Only if you forgive me for trying to put a steel implant in your head."

"Deal!" Mikey grinned and pulled Kit into a big turtle hug. Kit smiled and hugged him back. This turtle was truly unique in more ways than one.

Just then Klunk decided she didn't want to be left out and pounced on Kit's back, claws and all. "OW!" Kit pulled back and tried to grab at the ginger cat. Klunk avoided Kit's reach and jumped into Mikey's arms. "Crazy cat…" Kit grumbled, trying to pull her jacket back straight. Mikey's eyes lit up and his mouth opened, "Don't say it Mikey!" The mutant cat held up a warning finger, but it started to shake. Mikey's grin grew wider and after a minute they both started laughing.

As the laughter slowly died down Kit felt lighter, and better, than she had all week.

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A good cry followed by a short nap can do wonders, it does for me!

Please Review!


	12. Where Words Fail

I do not own the TMNT.

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Kit was behaving normally again, but this time it wasn't so much of an act. She was laughing more often now and spent less time in her room. The time she did spend in her room was no longer spent in guilt and grief, but in studying and growth. Although there was still pain it was a necessary pain, she had lost an important part of herself that needed a long time to heal. But the infection was cleared and the healing had begun.

Today Kit and Mikey were more or less sitting on the couch, they both tended to get very active during video games. "Forget it Mikey! There is no way you're getting past me now!" Kit unconsciously tilted to her right, mentally and physically encouraging her character to turn faster.

"Watch me! Nobody has beaten me at this game yet and I'm not about to let you now!" Mikey was half standing, his shell hovering about an inch above the seat cushions.

"Eat my dust!" Kit's character sailed past the finish line just far enough ahead of Mikey for the computer to register it. The music played and Kit smiled broadly as her name was entered into first place.

"No! It's not possible!" Mikey hit the floor on his knees and threw his hands in the air, "NO-O-O!"

"Ha-Ha Finally!" Raphael cheered.

Mikey was begging Kit for a rematch when the stone elevator doors opened. April and Casey came through.

"Hey April! Case man!" Raph called, "What's up?" The lair was soon filled with the sound of the humans being greeted warmly.

It wasn't until everyone had come out to see them that Casey finally explained what he had come for. He turned to Kit and cleared his throat importantly. His eyes darted off to the side and April nodded encouragingly. "Uh, Kit, I, uh wanted to say I'm sorry, for being kind of stupid the other day. And since I'm no good at words n' all I figured it'd be best if I did something. Ya know?"

"You're right Case; you're not good with words." Raph muttered. A heavy shoe landed on the turtle's foot. Raph pulled the injured limb free and glared at April.

"I think I understand Casey, and I'm sorry for chasing you off like that." Kit apologized sincerely.

"Hey, I kind of, no, I really deserved that. So, I uh, did some pokin' around and found you some stuff." He handed Kit a large business envelope.

Kit's ears perked with curiosity as she took the package and started to open it. She stopped and looked up, "Uh, guys, I can't smell anything but your breaths right now. Either back up or tick-tack. Maybe both." Mikey, Donnie, Raph and Leo backed up a step. Master Splinter smiled a little; it was very good to have Kitrian back to normal.

Kit undid the strap holding the flap of the envelope down and carefully pulled out a picture frame. The photograph was covered with papers and newspaper clippings. The paper on top was a missing child poster, the text described a twelve year old runaway and the picture was of a face Kit use to see in the mirror every morning. Her ears gave a confused flick as she carefully removed that picture.

The article underneath announced the graduates of an esteemed law school, the name Laura Thompson appeared in the third column. Blinking rapidly Kit carefully looked through the rest of the papers; she could feel a hitch in her breath

There was a series of clippings describing a legal case of domestic abuse; the prosecuting attorney was Laura Thompson. The jury ruled in the prosecution's favor.

A brochure for a women's leadership conference, Laura Thompson was listed among the guest speakers.

An article on a Women's retreat in Wheatland Wyoming, again Laura Thompson was listed among the guest speakers, but this time she was listed first. A small smile played over Kit's featured as she skimmed the papers, her mom had moved up in the world, just like Kit knew she could.

Another series of articles describing more legal cases, time and time again the jury ruled in her favor. The last article described how a businessman had hired her as his lawyer. Kit hesitated before slowly peeling this last article off of the glass covering the photo.

A familiar face smiled up at her. Kit smiled back.

"Whoa, what a hottie!" Smack, Snap! SMACK! "Ow!" Mikey whined.

"Yeah," Kit muttered, "She was, wasn't she?" A lump formed in her throat, Kit missed her mom and hated having to miss the past two years, but she was also so proud. Her mom, the lawyer, the hero.

An interesting thought wriggled its way into Kit's mind, Laura Thompson could never have afforded to go back to law school with a child to support. A knot in Kit's stomach that had been there for more than two years loosened up as she realized that her leaving had been for the best in more than one way.

Absentmindedly, Kit rubbed her thumb over where the woman's dark brown hair met the frame. A moment later Kit took a deep breath and carefully placed the papers back on the photo, then slid the photo into the envelope. "Uh, listen, Kit, if you don't like it…" Casey looked like he expected a kick in the gut for more insensitivity on his part.

"Shut up Case, you did good. Thank you, really." Kit had to jump a little, but she managed to get her arms around Casey's shoulders for a decent hug. The hug caught Casey by surprise and he actually stepped back in shock. When Kit released her grip she fell almost a foot back to the floor. Although there were tears in her eyes, Kit was still smiling. "Thank you."

A sniffle came from beside and a little behind Kit. She turned to see Mikey wiping his eyes with a cloth. Raphael angrily jerked his mask tails from Mikey's grasp. "That's just so beautiful." Mikey squeaked. Before anyone could figure out whether he was trying to goof off again or was truly touched by the scene he threw one arm around Casey and the other one around Kit. "Group hug!" With grins and shrugs April, Donnie, Leo and Master Splinter joined in. Casey laughed and pulled Raphael over as well.

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Wow, that got warm and fuzzy…Hope Kit can still breathe…

See, Casey can do research too! (Ignore the April behind the curtain)

Please review.


	13. Eulogy and Last Respects

I do not own the TMNT…this is getting monotonous.

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Sandalwood laced the air, not yet having faded since the last incense Leo had burned. His door was open, unusual when he was in his room, and he was reading. The book he was reading was titled with something having to do with the history of some dead empire. Overall the room and its single occupant should have held an air of solemnity and peace, and it would have; if Leo weren't lying on his shell with his feet propped up against the wall and his head and mask tails hanging over the edge. When he turned the pages of his inverted book his fingers fumbled with the awkward feel of gravity pulling the book 'up'.

Finally he noticed Kit standing in the doorway and closed the book. "Hey." He greeted her as he sat up. Kit had spent the day more or less holed up in her room again, but today there had been a feeling of business to her isolation. She seemed to have been working on some kind of a project.

"Hey. Come on in." At Leo's invitation Kit took a few steps inside.

"Hey." Kit was smiling a little, but still looked serious. "Leo, could I ask a favor?"

Leo grinned, "'Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half my kingdom.'" He was rewarded with a bemused smirk from Kit.

"I hope that guy isn't one of your role models." Leo blinked and tried to recall who he had just quoted, he hoped it wasn't Hitler or somebody like that. At the blank look on his face Kit smiled and gave a silent chuckle, "Don't worry about it, I don't want anyone beheaded anyway." Leo's face grew even blanker.

"…Beheaded?"

Typically when it came to history Leo was pretty good at it, but he had inherited his father's knack for being able to source a quote. It would probably bother him if he knew that the man he had just quoted was famous for beheading a guy just because a pretty girl had asked him to.

"You wanted to ask me something?" Leo quickly changed the subject.

Kit was still smiling, "Um, yes, I was wondering if you could be my guide tonight. There's something I need to do, and the last thing I need is to get lost for a week."

"No problem, where to?" Leo reached for his katana.

"Actually, before we leave I'm going to have to grab some clothes." Leo blinked and glanced down at Kit's gi. "Street clothes." She explained. Leo's eye ridges rose as high as they would go, but he didn't say anything.

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A lone figure stood out by the street, the hood of a black sweat jacket was pulled up over the figure's head obscuring the face. The figure stood still for several minutes, head bowed, in front of a flowery road-side memorial. From time to time a man in a business suit or a woman in fine clothes would bustle past this rather scruffy looking figure, careful not to look concerned in case the person asked for a handout.

Finally this person turned around and walked across the street, past several large, prominent buildings until the figure turned into an alley. Another figure, this one bulkier but also with hidden features, stood in the alley, apparently awaiting the first. The first figure pushed back the black hood slightly and looked into the face of the second. "Thanks Leo."

"Anytime." Leo said. He knelt down and lifted the manhole cover at his feet, the two figures hopped down into the tunnels beneath the city.

Once safely out of sight Kit pulled off the hoodie and straightened her gi underneath, beside her Leo checked to make sure his katana were still properly positioned. Once free of the constraining clothing required to move among humans on the surface they started down the tunnels toward their home. It was a longer trip than normal because the destination Kit had chosen was in a better, more upper class section of New York than they usually frequented.

Leo glanced over at Kit. She was walking along quietly, her thumbs hooked in the straps of the backpack they had stuffed their street clothes into and her gaze directed at her feet.

"Thinking about your mom?" Leo asked gently. She nodded and hummed the affirmative. He hesitated before asking the next question, "What was she like?" For once Kit didn't throw up the walls of defense or anger.

"She was…" Kit squinted, peering into her memories, "She was warm, loved to laugh and in some ways she was like a big kid." Her eyes widened, "_Not_ like Mikey." Leo chuckled at that. "In some ways she was just like most of the girls at school, she loved to talk about the cute guys she met at work, hair, makeup, Hollywood gossip. These things took on a special pleasure for her when she discovered how much I couldn't stand that kind of talk." Leo laughed out loud at that.

"But she also liked to talk about serious stuff, like politics and why people wanted to do evil stuff." They had stopped walking and were now sitting with their backs to the tunnel wall.

"Evil stuff?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Kit hesitated to answer that question, "like Columbine and the…the attacks." Leo nodded; a lot of people would rather forget about that stuff.

"We used to stay up for hours talking about everything from the serious stuff to the gossipy junk. Then she'd spend the mornings trying to stay in bed until the next day." Kit smirked and her tone got lighter, "Now, I just couldn't allow that could I?"

Leo laughed some more, waking up Raph on his bad mornings was something Kit never got tired of, even when Mikey was shaking in his shell at the idea.

Kit told several stories about her mom. Most were entertaining, others more serious. The more she spoke though the sadder she seemed to become, her ears drooped and eyes dimmed. "Kit, is something else bothering you?" Leo asked after Kit had finished one particular story. Instead of answering right away Kit actually picked up Leo's hand and examined it. Leo waited for her to answer.

"My mom was a really great person…" Kit gently traced the lines of Leo's palm, it was clear she was just trying to avoid eye contact. "She deserved everything good that she got, and then some. The last few months I lived with her I can't remember a single truth I told her. Mom didn't deserve that." Kit placed Leo's hand back on his leg. "She didn't deserve any of what I did to her." With a sigh, Kit braced her hands on her knees and stood up. Beside her Leo stood up as well. The depression Kit had been feeling earlier was back.

A strong arm rested across her shoulders. "You were just doing what you knew needed to be done." Leo said. "If your mom knew you half as well as I do, I'm sure she would have known that. Even if she didn't understand the reasons."

Kit blinked; she could almost hear her mother's voice as clearly as she heard Leo's:

_ I'm proud that you always stand up for what you know is right._

"Thanks Leo." Kit put her arm behind Leo's shell as they headed for the lair.

Leo moved his hand and ruffled Kit's ears before resting it across her shoulders again.

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	14. Epilogue Still Out There

Epilogue

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Jessup stepped out of the car and faced the memorials. The city had ordered that they be taken down tomorrow and he figured he'd better stop by.

There were flowers, most of them had wilted slightly, and there were notes and such. Gary had done a lot for the people of this city and it was clear they appreciated it. Beside his brother's memorial was a less attended to memorial.

Laura had only met Gary a few months ago, the newspapers hadn't even caught on that their relationship was anything more than business. Not that they would be getting married now anyway.

As he stood there contemplating the two memorials Jessup noticed that the freshest flowers weren't those beside the little stand with Gary's name and dates, but the bouquet set at the bottom of Laura's little cross. Jessup lifted the flowers and got a better look at them. Powdery pink snapdragons with a single white rose in the center, Jessup was floored. Nobody but Gary and himself had known Laura's favorite flower, who could have possibly left these?

The mystery seemed unsolvable.

Jessup replaced the flowers in their rightful place. As he did so he frowned, seeing what looked like graffiti on the little white cross. One person who leaves a special gift and another who dishonors the dead, New York was one heck of a city.

On second thought…

Jessup flipped out his camera phone and snapped a shot of the graffiti. He sent it to a business friend who had a friend in Japan. A few minutes later the phone vibrated and Jessup pulled it out, smiling when he saw the translation for the kanji. One mystery solved. One task to finish.

He dialed a number and held the phone to his ear. "Hello, I'm calling about Ms. Thompson's headstone…yes this is Jessup Grant…I was wondering if you had finished it yet…do you have anyone who can engrave kanji?...Yes, kanji as in Japanese…you can hire someone? That's great!...I don't mind the extra fee…" Jessup knelt down and ran his fingers along the mark on the memorial. "yes…"

Jessup shook his head, he knew Laura had had a daughter, a runaway, but he figured that the girl was just like thousands of others who didn't understand what they had and went off looking for bigger things.

He felt like a fool, Laura had always insisted that her daughter wasn't like that, maybe she was right.

"Yes, I want it to read, '_Beloved Mother_'."


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